Honest Discourse on Social Media and Running a Small Wellness Biz
Most of us know that the death scroll is not time well spent. It takes us out of the present moment, keeps us in a cycle of comparison and judgement, robs us of time that could have been spent doing countless other things, and leaves most of us feeling depleted.
If you didn’t know: scrolling through all those images/messages is an energy exchange.
These apps may have started with a mission to connect others and deliver on the promise of “media, but make it social.” As family, friends, people we don’t know, and brands we like share snippets of their lives (or curate how they want their lives to appear) we might feel like we are staying in touch, but for all its efficiency, it is an inadequate replacement for REAL social connection.
And let’s not forget, the whole point of keeping people on these apps is advertising. They are media companies after all and they bring in A LOT of money to deliver advertisers “eyeballs.” Side note: eyeballs is a corporate colloquial term for impressions and impressions is the term we use for “human interactions.” Maybe we don’t use the term human interactions because that sounds creepy?
Cutting the cord
A friend and I have been talking about our love/hate relationship with social media for the last couple years and the other day she told me she finally cut the cord. My first reaction was “WOW! I am so proud of you!”
My second thought was: Could I do that? But I’m scared…
When I’ve asked other practitioners about their relationship with social, they say they don’t enjoy it, but it’s a “necessary evil.” Social media has become a place to engage potential clients and promote offerings.
First of all, referring to something as “evil” should rightfully invite pause and reflection.
Secondly, if we as wellness practitioners know how harmful social media can be, why do we participate and keep the people we want to help stuck in the same toxic cycle?
it’s A question of business
As someone who worked in marketing, most brand folks I worked with understand the need to be authentic: to speak, behave, and create in ways which feel aligned with the brand.
As wellness practitioners, wouldn’t the aligned action be to remove ourselves from social? But if we do that, where and how would we promote our offerings?
Even if we only use social to promote our offerings, the way the algorithm works is we have to regularly post, show our faces, create talking videos, engage with comments, and adjust whenever the algorithm does.
BTW, the apps are conditioning us.
It also helps to advertise our business/offerings on these apps. If we don’t do these things, the likelihood of our content being seen is pretty low.
And here’s an ironic thought: there are many social posts from spiritual/wellness folks bemoaning toxic capitalism. Yet, here they are disseminating the truth on the same social media platforms which are fully complicit in said capitalism. Talk about a toxic cycle.
It’s a question of relevance
If you sever ties with social media, does that make you less relevant? To answer a question with two questions:
Who or what determines one’s relevance?
Is the ego asking this question?
Re: relevance. You know the answer. YOU determine your own relevance. It’s not the number of followers, likes, reposts, DMs, mentions, or saves which determine relevance. Actually you don’t even have to determine your own relevance. It has been determined by the law of aliveness (Is this a law? It should be). Are you a living breathing human? Did you answer yes? If so, YOU ARE RELEVANT. Full stop.
Re: is the ego asking this question? All you need to know is it’s the ego’s job is keep us safe, cozy, in a sea of sameness. I can’t be mad at it. The ego is very good at its job, but it’s not about aligning my actions with authenticity. In fact, authenticity terrifies the ego. When you’re authentic, you’re behaving in a way which does not conform with the sea of sameness which means rejection may be in your future. The ego does not want that.
When I felt fear as I contemplated my future on social media, that was an indication that the ego has entered the chat. If this were a council circle, I’d give the ego the talking stick to speak its turn, but I should never forget: I am the circle facilitator.
Where TO from here?
I’m putting my social media apps on ice. And when I say on ice, I mean in a folder called “Apps on Ice” which lives on the very last screen of my phone. I’ve also turned off app notifications save for a weekly email letting me know about messages I missed which I will check on my laptop. I find that scrolling on the laptop is not as mindless or as fun as scrolling on the phone. Will I post again? Who knows!
Regarding how to promote my business…I’m going to have to go back to my marketing roots and focus on what feels authentic. Like life, there is no roadmap, no one size fits all solution. I will have to try new things, play outside my comfort zone, and probably make some missteps. None of this is new, but without the death scroll I will have way more time to f'*ck around and find out!
I am currently trying different ways to connect in-person like working with a local space to offer sessions one day a week, trying online listings/directories, and I’ll continue to offer public experiences (sound, meditation, tea) and write my somewhat regular newsletter :)
In Closing
If you too are feeling tepid about social media, here’s the poem The Summer Day by Mary Oliver. Maybe read it and take a few moments to ponder life.
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
PS - Shoutout to my friend Linda Ong with whom I enjoy many deep offline conversations.